So Perfect

Beatrice, the voice of my GPS unit, is so much more refined and ladylike than I am. First of all, she has the most luscious, full-toned and ripe English accent. If I fail to execute a turn, let's say, she will politely and patiently explain to me that she is "Recalculating". Beatrice NEVER loses her cool with me at the wheel. She has never yelled at me no matter how many times I fail to make the correct maneuver. She is also never a 'back seat driver' who attempts to correct my speed or regale me with stories of what might happen if I tailgate the driver in front of me. She doesn't curse out the other drivers who might cut in front of me, or tailgate me, either. Unlike me, she doesn't get flustered or jam her hand down on the horn in frustration when the driver in front of her is trying to remember which one of the pedals they are supposed to push on to make the car go. She is, in short, the perfect driving companion. Sometimes though, I wish she wasn't so flawless as I feel a bit inadequate when confronted by such unshakable composure. Maybe just once, after I have completed an exceptionally 'daring' maneuver, she could let loose with a well elocuted "Oh my!"