News... not so much

So, I am reading these little news stories…you know, the “feel good” stories the local newspapers publish, and I am thinking, no wonder the papers only allocate a tiny bit of space to this sort of thing. I thought it was because not that much good stuff is happening around the world. Oh, it’s happening alright, but no one really wants to hear about it, because it's... really boring. I mean, here are some recent headlines… "Singing Driver Works on His Delivery” (a truck driver sings opera while working), “Napoleon Finds Way Back to Ohio Library” (a late library book is finally returned), and "92 Year Old Takes Ride"(an old lady skydives for the first time, has a perfect landing and wasn't even scared - where's the interest here?). Of course, living in a smallish town brings its own fair share of bizarre news stories. For example, just recently a young man was arrested in Wal-Mart because he took a baseball bat into the electronics section and smashed the blazes out of 23 television sets. The police are still questioning him as to why he did this. I am speculating that this is the newest form of crime -soon to be known as "Boob Tube Frenzy" which highly paid psychiatrists will eventually determine is induced by watching way too many bad TV shows. It will be grouped with other crimes of this sort - "Primal Pruning" in which calm suburbanites viciously attack their Azalea bushes in a search for inner peace and "Counter Combat", when normally docile shoppers get annoyed at rising prices. Now, those will be some news stories worth reading about!