My Life in Home Improvement

So, I recently started a part time job at one of the big national chains of home improvement stores.  I am not really terribly excited by this, but I have gotten even more antsy and bored while looking for work in my field.  I figured I have some skills that I might be able to share with some other hapless homeowner who, due to tough economic times must launch themselves into the land of "D-I-Yville".  On the first day at my new job, I learned how NOT to cut vinyl flooring.  Evidently, that long red string that runs under the flooring roller is the accelerator for the roller...not a stray piece of carpet fiber to be yanked and pulled, as I thought.  The roller/cutter machine does not have an emergency braking system, either.   And, I also learned that a new full roll of vinyl flooring can be as much as 168 linear feet, which is an awful lot of very heavy material to wind up by hand, back onto its spool, after one causes the rolling machine to go nuts and spew yard after yard onto the floor...