A portmanteau of the words "Spiced" and "Ham"...

So, this blog post is for Boy. He specifically requested that I write about Spam. Not electronic spam, because he knows I know nothing about that, but the other one. Much to his surprise, I know nothing about the other kind, either. I was 50 years old and had never tasted Spam. I had never even held a can of Spam in my hand. So because he is a teenager and gets obsessed with things like this and believes it is his mission to expand his parents horizons, the other day Boy coerced Man into buying a can of Spam at the grocery store, insisting that it tastes good. Man was doubtful (he was a Spam virgin, too) but relented and home came the tin of Spam. Spam is evidently an cultural icon. There is an actual Spam museum in Austin, Minnesota (Spam Town USA) which is the Spam capital of the world. And, there are about twelve different varieties of Spam, including (I am not kidding) Honey Spam and Hot & Spicy Spam with Tabasco flavor. Spam is so popular in Hawaii that Burger King added it to it's menu in 2007. In South Korea, Spam is such a delicacy and so desirable that it is often presented as a gift to one's host. There are restaurants that serve nothing BUT Spam, and Spamarama Festivals. Spam Cook-Offs and Spam Parades. The list goes on. So, when Man asked Boy what he wanted for lunch the next day, Boy decided he wanted a Spam sandwich out came the little blue can, and Boy had a Spam sandwich with mustard on whole wheat. Boy proclaimed his lunch as "Delicious". The next day, I was making eggs on English muffins, and Boy suggested that he would like some cooked Spam on his. Cooked Spam? Were you supposed to cook it? What would happen to it when it got hot? And more importantly, how was I to cook it - grill it? roast it in the oven? fry it? I decided to mush it up with the back of a spoon into a paste and sauteed it like a pancake and put it on Boy's egg sandwich. It also rated a "Delicious. You should try it". But I did not. The next day (for such a small can, we sure got a lot of miles out of it) Boy thought it might be a good lunch if I made it like a stir fry - his reasoning was that I really love vegetables, and so I might be tempted to try it. So I diligently cubed the Spam and stir fried it with broccoli and celery and onions and carrots and some garlic and ginger and soy sauce. I was thinking at this point it might actually be like firm tofu and I was pretty interested in tasting it now. So I did. And all I can say is I don't like Spam.